Reply to How to communicate to parents about reason of estrangement so they can stop the “we have no idea”?

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Reply to "How to communicate to parents about reason of estrangement so they can stop the “we have no idea”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have a weird idea of no contact. Stop contacting them if you want to be no contact.[/quote]

The interactions described was before NC.   - OP[/quote]

But you want to contact them again to explain no contact. Leave them alone. And also they gave you the TL, DR treatment because 5 pages (was it front and back?) might have been too much.[/quote]

Because I love them, and their time on earth is getting shorter and shorter, and it makes me sad, but yes, you are correct.  - OP

It's just not that easy to let go[/quote]

It sounds like you want to punish them. Not like you're trying to protect yourself.

Do you spend a lot of time consuming social media/tiktok posts about going no contact? Have you romanticized it? Do you have some script in your head for what it looks like?[/quote]

THIS! Gray rock should be to protect yourself and you just want to punish your parents. You want them to know what they did was wrong, which is actually hurting you even further. [/quote]

OPs parents are gray rocking OP. And OP is spiraling like many people who are subjected to gray rock do.

OP will not and cannot gray rock her parents, because that is not satisfying to her, and actually I suspect would be an outcome her parents would welcome, given that they are clearly doing the same to her. [/quote]

Op here, Omg what in the world ?! My parents are the exact opposite of grey rocking me.  If they did at least I would let feel they faking loving me, I’d give them credit for being truthful and consistent. No, they think we are very close.  [/quote]

Gently, I don’t think you understand what gray rocking is. They are clearly gray rocking you. In fact, that is consistent with them feeling close. They are not engaging with your drama, but are staying neutral and steady as a rock, because they value you. [/quote]

Good one, YOU don’t know what grey rock means, although let’s say my parents are grey rocking me, then they grey rock every person in their lives.  They are emotionally immature, don’t beautify it as not engage in drama.  Telling your loved one you are sorry that her dog died is drama? Visiting a sick friend in the hospital is drama? Lending a shoulder for your daughter to cry on when her boyfriend died is drama? You boomers really are a different species.  I know I know, maybe they hated the dog to begin with, maybe the sick friend was nasty anyway, maybe the boyfriend was abusive, or maybe alien abduction.

I will block them from now on, they wouldn’t need to grey rock me anymore.  Thanks for speaking on their behalf, that’s what I asked them to do for a closure.  DCUM is the best! [/quote]

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