Reply to Sibling Estrangement

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Keep the door open. Send a greeting for her birthday, at the holidays, and any update on major life events even if she might have heard from elsewhere (deaths, engagements, graduations, college plans, that type of thing) Always invite (unless she's a danger to anyone), always invite to events where otherwise the entire family is invited. Keep any communication formal. Just state the details. And with greetings, "Happy Holidays" and just sign your name. Almost like you would communicate with a colleague at work or a neighbor you don't know. Leave the door open.[/quote]

Why? This requires lots of effort from the person who didn't start anything. I'd do nothing. If and when the sibling is ready, let them reach out. And if not, then oh well. I'm the PP whose friend disappeared after my wedding... and also jealousy made the most sense considering everything. At the end of the day we don't know what is going on with another person, even though we thought they're a dear friend or a beloved sibling. [b]Stalking is illegal [/b]and it's better not to continue reaching out if it's unwanted, relationships have to be mutual. [/quote]

What a stretch, this is minimal effort. Basically no pressure, just letting her know you harbor no ill-will.[/quote]

It's not a minimal effort and obviously there's ill-will after you're the only one who remembers. I guess you have not been in this position. I have. The only one calling, sending cards for holidays/birthdays, remembering milestones. And get nothing in return, no cards, no calls, no thank you for gifts. After a while it becomes uncomfortable. You start feeling like a fool. Then resentful for spending all this time and money and thinking of them at all. [/quote]

Me me me.  No wonder they don't want to have anything to do with you.[/quote]

Really? That's what you got out of my post? That me calling, sending cards and gifts without reciprocation was about me, me me? Don't worry, I stopped:)[/quote]

That poster is a freak and I know this type too well. They can be abusive as hell but are used to power games and inequalities in relationships. Narcs and abusers hate it when their playthings walk away and refuse to be a part of the sick game. [/quote]

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