Reply to Accomplished woman trying to date after a long marriage - men are drawn primarily to my caregiving abilities

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am also a smart and accomplished woman and my DH cares about those things. But he definitely cares more about the fact that I do all the caretaking of our lives and our kids lives. That’s not a good thing and it’s not what I hoped for in my marriage but it’s also an incredibly common dynamic among couples at my age (a little younger than you, kids still at home). I have reached a point where I am just trying to deal with it and my primary focus is raising both my kids with different expectations, which is hard to do when they see this dynamic playing out. I want my son to be such a competent human being that it would feel odd to him to need some one to do so much for him. I have a brilliant gorgeous daughter and I look at her every single day and think about how I don’t believe for a second any man is going to take care of all the little and big problems at home so she can go out in the world and shine, and not should they. So I am trying to make sure my son doesn’t have that expectation/entitlement either. It’s for him too - I hope he has an equal and happy marriage that’s a true partnership no matter what careers he and his spouse end up with.

I have a good life and don’t plan to divorce. But if I did I would not remarry. I would just enjoy taking care of myself and enjoying my time with my kids and any grandkids I’m lucky enough to have. [/quote]

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