Reply to Can I charge my hourly rate for helping parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is interesting how many people in the thread are against charging, but paying people to haul junk and declutter can cost hundreds of dollars for not very much.

So, it sounds like those of us who do this work should just hire the work out. Our parents can pay someone else and that will be acceptable to those in the thread…

My parents expected me to haul their mountains of junk out. I boxed their trash and junk and did more than 100 dumpster trips in addition to hiring junk haulers at least four times.

It’s rude and crazy that people don’t do a death cleaning when they are still able to do it.

I would never leave so much junk for my children and have already stated to get rid of things and/or to mark what can be tossed (if it is something I want to keep while alive).

We have selfish parents.

[/quote]

Yes, it's so sad. I helped my parents for years for free at the expense of my job and sanity. I didn't mind so much for dad, but mom was abusive, entitled and unappreciative. When I finally had to back away for my own health and outsource, OMG the complaints about the expense. Yes, it's expensive to get people to cater to you and do this work. People are living longer so after all the years I put in there was no end in site and it got to the point mom was in better health than I was and determined to take advantage. She punished me or at least threw so many financial threats at me which is fine, because if I continued my free labor for likely another decade she would have continued the threats and and my health and sanity are priceless. Strangely enough other siblings did not step forward, yet they shamed me for no longer providing free labor. Not only did my health improve when I stepped back, but my family life improved and I got unexpected financial gains at work multiple times because I was no longer burned out and could focus.

I do believe if the person is making financial sacrifices they should be paid, though i could do not accept money.  Sadly though I think in dysfunctional families you are better off just outsourcing because people will judge and make false claims. Let them try that on hired help and see how fast the person quits.[/quote]

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