Reply to DH wants to pay for his older sister’s intervention and inpatient rehab

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[quote=Anonymous]While I totally agree with you, your approach of just fuming isn’t helpful. Your husband is being desperately naive, and you know this. But, you are not going to convince him of this if you are just acting pissed off about spending money on a woman you clearly don’t like.

Take a breath and start looking for addiction help in your area. Find an addiction counselor and ask him to go with you to a meeting to discuss options. Get some real statistics on how often an intervention works and what the chances of rehab working really are. Ask him to attend a few AlAnon meetings with you to prepare for this. Basically try to be cooperative to see if you can get him to a place of being less naive.

FWIW — after decades of driving drunk, my dad got a DUI at age 76. He went to rehab for $20k. It helped for maybe a year. Then, he started drinking again and his current wife threw him out. He didn’t tell his kids but he went to live on his boat. He fell off the boat drunk and would have died but the dockmaster saw it and got him hauled out. I went to visit at the hospital and told him if he wanted to drink himself to death on the boat, none of his kids were going to stop him. He then tried to say rehab was too expensive because it was now $27k. Since he is wealthy, I told him that trying to say $27k was too much was insane, and in fact, he didn’t need to drink himself to death because I might kill him with my bare hands right there in the hospital if he kept telling me that he could not afford it. But again — if he wanted to drink himself to death, have at it. He basically got scared because I kept pushing the “you are going to die” angle and called his wife and promised to go to rehab so she would take him back. He went, paid the money and is back in the house with her (until he falls off the wagon). It is what it is. None of his kids are under any illusions that he will get sober for good before he dies.[/quote]

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