Reply to Friend asked to stay at our house with another friend when we are not there.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?[/quote]

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption. [/quote]

It’s gross that she literally asked when WON’T you be there so she can plan to be there then. That’s really offensive and very different from “can we come x dates? Oh, shoot you won’t be there then? Any chance we can still use it?” She’s planning around not seeing you. [/quote]

This. Very rude. I'd have to think hard about this request. It would depend on how much I'd want to support her in whatever she's going through.[/quote]

Um…you mean you’d have to evaluate whether or not to support your friend?

Nice.

I’m baffled by the overwhelming response that asking to use a friend’s vacation home is audaciously rude.

It’s fine to ask a good friend…and it’s fine to say no. But most normal people would let a good friend use their place if it was available.

WTH is wrong with people? Dcumlandia is so weird. [/quote]

Op - it’s less that it’s her and her kids it’s more about asking when I’m not there so she she bring another friend rather than just coming to stay with me. [/quote]

Think about it: it’s either a romantic interest or a mom of her kid’s friend.

Practically speaking, do you have enough space for everyone? My guess is that you do not…and she knows this.

If she is struggling and this might be the only way she gets a vacation—and if she is really someone you consider a friend—ask yourself why you feel conflicted about accommodating her.

Maybe try this: ask her directly.

“Sally, I was a little surprised that you asked to use the house when we aren’t there rather than visiting us. Is there a reason why?”

You are obviously hurt. Maybe engage to find out her reasons rather than jump to conclusions and summarily shut her down…and risk damaging the friendship.

Honestly, an empty vacation home is just silly to me. I’d err on being generous with a friend. [/quote]

You are clueless about how people act. Clueless. [/quote]

Perhaps I just run in different circles.

Regardless, I’d appreciate someone telling me what they are afraid of.

Someone mentioned “snooping.”

Okay.

So what would people find in your house? I can’t think of anything embarrassing in my house (or anything that couldn’t be tossed in a bag and taken with me).

Don’t most people who rent their vacation homes have at least one closet they lock? That’s fairly standard for truly personal items. [/quote]

OP doesn’t rent her house. She’s mentioned that.
The better question is why do you think this friend is entitled to use OP’s home in order to entertain another friend? [/quote]

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