Reply to MIL cuts us off, then demands holiday access. Advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't think you need to do anything. A lot of kids don't see their grandparents consistently and only on major holidays. Your kids don't need to know all the details of every conversation and drama between your MIL and you / your DH. Keep it away from them and when you see grandma you see her. If she is as horrible as you say, I doubt the kids care that they don't see her more often.

See her around the holidays and ignore her the rest of the time (or be ignored by her the rest of the time).

Trying to turn this into a confrontation is only going to backfire on you.[/quote]
The only thing that bothers me is the awkward tension she brings. The kids definitely feel it and we all walk on eggshells. This is the thing I’m tired of and don’t really know how to navigate.

—OP[/quote]

As someone who has had to deal with a family member around whom everyone had to walk on eggshells, I feel you, OP.

Personally, I don't engage with that. There are some rules for a decent society, and causing angst to everyone around you is violating a number of those. As a result, I won't tolerate people like that.

My friend puts up with it (her MIL has gone so far as to slap her in the face and scream bad words at her). I'm not sure that either of us is "right" we're just both doing what we want to/think we can handle.

OP, you need to draw your own boundaries. Some posters can clearly shrug off behavior like this, so for them it's not a big deal. For others it is draining and they can't do it. So they shouldn't. You decide what you can do and act accordingly. Good luck. [/quote]

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