Reply to Are all the good men really taken by early thirties?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.[/quote]Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married.  It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. [b]Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again[/b] but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories. [/quote]

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56  years.[/quote]

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though [/quote]

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.[/quote]
If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.[/quote]

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.[/quote]

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow" [/quote]

For my marriage there is more peace of mind than there is happiness.

I cannot call my marriage happy because the romance sucks ( understatement of the century!). I have tried and tried to make DH get it, but he does not (or maybe he does and does not feel the love back , who knows?)  So I have accepted that it is what it is in that aspect. It makes me sad when I think about it.

However, I love DH now even more than I did when I agreed to marry him because he is every bit of the father I imagined he will be and more, and I respect him for that. Additionally,  he is kind and respectful.

I have peace of mind in knowing that he shares the love and obligation I have towards my children, and that my children love him as much as they love me. I have peace of mind in knowing that there is someone who has a very similar role in my kid's lives like the one I have and he is someone who takes that role seriously.

So in that sense, in my case,  peace of mind and happiness might intersect, but they are not exactly the same. I am very happy in certain aspects and sad in others. But overall, if I had to do it again, I will still choose to have kids with DH. Perhaps we'd cohabit instead of grtting married like the PP suggested, and he won't take me for granted ( or perhaps he would have left if we were not married, I have no idea).
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