Reply to Are all the good men really taken by early thirties?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think 35 is a big turning point. Guys who remain single longer than that tend to be odd. You’re better off finding someone who’s been divorced once they’re past that point.[/quote]Odd? Or maybe just maybe, some people don’t want to get married.  It’s unbelievable that people hold marriage on a pedestal. [b]Everybody I know that’s been married or is married says they would never do this marriage thing again[/b] but everybody rushes out to do it. Studies have shown that married women are leading the unhappinest human categories. [/quote]

What in the actual eff are you trying to convince people of? Every single person you know hates their marriage? That is what you have convinced yourself of because no one ever picked you?

I really do hope you not only belive this but also that you share it publically. It makes Id'ing the lunatics so much easier.

- 52 yo man still madly in love with his awesome wife after 33 years. Also the son to two wonderful people still madly in love after 56  years.[/quote]

The percentage of happy marriages is very low though [/quote]

DP.
Define happy.

"Happiness" is overrated. I sometimes envy my single mom by choice friend. She is " happier" in the sense that her space is exactly as she wants it, and she does not feel sad over unmet expectations from a partner since she does not have one.

I have to compromise a lot with my DH. I'd like the house to be different. I'd like much much more romance and communication. But while certain aspects of my life are more unhappy than hers, my kids are definitely getting double the love, emotional and financial security that her kids are getting. I'd trade much more "happiness" for that.[/quote]
If you were happy, you wouldn't be peeping this hard over your "friend's" shoulder and comparing your lives.[/quote]

Touche. Like I said, happiness is overrated.[/quote]

Peace of mind exists and not overrated. I know I wouldn't survive if I remained married to my exH.

Wanting kids, marriage as a self serving goal is a very wrong motivation for pegging yourself to someone. Women are under so much pressure that they don't make good and rational decisions in their 20s and 30s about marriage: is that man really a good human being, is he a good provider, partner? Many women just get married no matter what in a hope that he will "grow" [/quote]

You make some good points. In your opinion, is there ever a good reason for marriage?[/quote]

At present times, marriage is a necessity for women who can't afford having baby on their own. But as women get more and exceedingly economical successful than men (and I do think it's inevitable), we will see the rates of marriage dropping even further. We already see in Scandinavia where women own as much assets as men, and earn as much as men + are getting government maternity payments. [b]Women choose not to marry in these countries, and just cohabit with male partners.[/b]

Humans in general are not well suited for monogamy, neither men nor women. And the dating market is set up in a way that men only wanting beautiful, much younger women. Would a much younger woman with great career prospects and earning capacity potential want to marry an older man who may require care in his old age? This is a loss proposition to her as a "shareholder". So if she cannot find equally earning and educated men her age she's better off staying single and having baby on her own.

This was the case in post war countries: deficit of men  with certain marriageable qualities results in women having babies on their own. No risk of custody disputes that force kids split childhood between 2 households and argue with a deadbeat dad over your child's schooling, travel, etc. [/quote]

The bolded is not the same as being a single mom by choice. These women are cohabiting with their children's fathers and raising those children together. So even though these women have the resources to raise children by themselves, they'd rather do it with a partner.
These women probably do not consider this men marriage worthy, but they consider them worthy of sharing the responsibilities of raising children. So your argument against marriage in  their case is not necessarily a strong argument for single parenthood.

[/quote]

They don't necessarily live with the same men who fathered their children. A woman may have several partners over the course of her active sex life and may or may not have kids with these partners [/quote]

Yep, and it's possible men don't suck as much in those countries since they don't have the cultural power to impose legal servitude in marriage. The women get maternity payments anyway and aren't financially tied to the father in the same way.  Knowing that you can be replaced or kicked out at any time keeps you on your toes. [/quote]

Men in these countries take more parental leave than in US for sure. It's the whole social sustainability idea that lays behind their genders equality policy. As much as I dislike Musk, the idea of government payments to families is how such sustainability should be achieved in wealthy country like the US
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