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[quote=Anonymous]I think the thing that’s difficult about these types of asks is 1) there is often not a lot of notice so there’s a bit of a scramble if you don’t have a green shirt (have to not only buy one but buy one that will arrive on time which limits the options) and 2) these things are on top of the million things you have to do already and they tend to cluster around busy times of the year. My husband works more than I do so I don’t mind doing *more* of this stuff but I don’t appreciate having to *always* be the one who finds time to do the extra things.

I try and do what I can to keep the day to day stuff reasonable so I can add on these extra things without being flustered. But it means things like celebrating my kid’s December birthday in January and not doing some of the magic making for Christmas that some people are able to do (it’s also the busy season at my work). And even still it’s sometimes a lot and I wish I didn’t have to be up ordering a shirt once the kids are finally asleep. I can only imagine how nice it would be if when that random email came in I didn’t even think about it and knew my DH would take care of it. I can’t do that because he just won’t if he feels too busy. He is ok disappointing the kids in a way I am not. I have tried it enough times to know that.

And the Greek chorus of “it’s your fault because you knew what he was doing like when you married him” can just shut up because no I didn’t. We both worked all the time, and I had multiple periods of having a more challenging workload and we just powered through kind of surviving. Someone had to change when we had kids but I changed a whole heck of a lot more. [/quote]

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