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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Spend your winter holiday wrapping gifts at Wider Circle together.  Hopefully he will get over his bitterness if he spends some time wrapping gifts for families who can’t afford to buy gifts. [/quote]

What does this have to do with anything.  Op is pretending they are not wealthy and set this kid up.  [/quote]
Set them up? They’re paying $70,000 for crying out loud! Kid could go to 99% of colleges, he chose the 1% that would put him in debt. Play stupid games and you know what kinda of prizes you’ll get![/quote]

No. OP agreed to it, and she's supposed to be the parent in this relationship. An 18 year old cannot be expected to realize how hard it is to work AND study at the same time.

I fault the parent more than the kid here, simply because the parent is supposed to have more life experience and wisdom to foresee all the issues that might arise, while the 18 year old brain cannot.

[/quote]

I think the nature of DS's complaints are obnoxious ("why aren't you richer?"), but I also think OP made a very poor parenting decision. PP is correct that DS really had no way of knowing what he was getting himself into. OP should have known better. This option shouldn't have been on the table in the first place. Borrowing up to the federal limits and working to cover spending money is reasonable. More than that is a very hard row. Graduating with $80k in loans? Absolutely not. Surely there were more affordable options on DS's list, and he should have been told that he needed to choose one of those.

I would be firm about my financial situation and what I can afford, but also very sympathetic about the financial situation he is in and openly apologetic that I had helped put him there, and I would help him consider his options, including strongly encouraging him to think about transferring.[/quote]

+1 we had a budget, kids knew what it was, and weren't allowed to consider schools that didn't have a chance of meeting that budget. Both were able to find schools that worked well for them (one in state public, one private with merit).

Now that OPs kid has a better understanding of the reality of college costs, they need to talk about options. And Mom and Dad getting richer isn't one of them.[/quote]

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