Reply to Why is having 4 kids not considered a large family but 5 kids are seemingly where it becomes a large family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have one kid but grew up in a family with four kids.

I think 3 or more is a lot. But I do think families that have plenty of support from extended family and who can afford nannies, au pairs, or other help, can handle it better than I could with none of those things. In my MC family growing up, four was too many, my parents were very overwhelmed, and I think all of my siblings and I experienced neglect of some kind (including medical neglect -- several of us have chronic health issues that can be traced to undiagnosed childhood problems). So I was very wary about keeping my own family small enough for me to handle, especially without a big support system.[/quote]

Was it that your parents were too overwhelmed to notice? [/quote]

In part yes. Also skimped on healthcare because even the copays add up. I had a neurological issue that became symptomatic when I was 5 or 6. My mom actually changed pediatricians because our first one was strongly urging her to take me to a specialist to address it and my mom didn't want to. It's something that is now managed with medication but has caused other problems I now have to deal with, including severe teeth grinding that has resulted in multiple root canals. One of my siblings had a sports injury as a teen for which he should have had surgery but my parents chose instead to just have him quit playing and deal with it. He had surgery in his 40s to correct but struggled with mobility and weight gain before that.

I think my parents figured they'd have four healthy, obedient kids with no issues. Instead they had normal human children with some issues. It was too much.

Always assume your next kid will have big challenges, or that your existing kids could have challenges you don't know about yet. Only have another if that thought doesn't scare you too much.[/quote]

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