Reply to Anyone’s exDH try to use family caregiving for custody?

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Reply to "Anyone’s exDH try to use family caregiving for custody?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you sure he doesn’t plan to remarry quickly? Then the new wife would simply continue instead of grandma.[/quote]

This is the most pressing concern. The grandmother is red herring. He could easily be planning to have a girlfriend watch the kids while he travels.

You should definitely ask for right of first refusal. [/quote]

I agree. I think the ex may get 50/50 (it's presumed in many places, including where I am) but there should be a right of first refusal clause in there. The child should defenitely be with a parent if the other one is away. And the ex would still have 50/50. OP, you could set the ROFR for 8 hours, so if exdh leaves to travel, it would trigger it, but if your mom is watching dc for a few hours, it won't.

There is no reason mil should be caring for dc if a parent is available. It's in dc's best interest to have time with both parents.[/quote]

I doubt that a parent that is going to be foreseeably absent during their sought after custody time would actually get it for sure. This is a question for OP’s lawyer. 
[/quote]

Yes, it is a question for the lawyer-but in many places, it would not matter. OP knows that the ex travels and she needs to consider rofr so dc can be with their parent, rather than mil or random gf's, because that is in the dc's best interest.[/quote]

I don’t think that blanket assertion is correct. For example is a presumption of “joint custody” in DC law. This does not mean 50-50 automatically because the judge has discretion based on the best interests of the child. 50% physical time is not a right of the parent alone - it is the child’s best interests that is the “primary consideration.” Then there is a long list of factors that the judge can consider including the “demands of parental employment” and the parents’ prior degree of involvement in childcare. 
So yes, in DC anyway, OP could make a strong argument to the court that she should get custody on days when her ex travels or that she should get more than 50% and her ex can plan his travel schedule around his more limited custody time.

Of course OP doesn’t plan on going to court (hopefully) but the settlement is negotiated based on the background law - which in DC definitely would consider her ex’s plan to be absent for a significant portion of his custody time due to his job.

OP would be very reasonable to request a right of first refusal for overnight absences. It can be drafted in a way that still allows the kids to have reasonable overnight visits with grandparents and relatives from time to time. And it does not necessarily need to be completely mirror-image because OP doesn’t have a plan to be absent for her custody days. [/quote]

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