Reply to Read my Dad's memoir; description of my childhood was a gut punch

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Read my Dad's memoir; description of my childhood was a gut punch"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m not trying to be cruel here but what your dad did just frankly isn’t that uncommon. Men leaving a first wife and kids to go start a “new family” while they’re ascending in their career happens all the time. They put all the blame on the toxic first wife - for destroying the marriage, then for not letting them see the kids or their choice to move to whatever city and turning the kids against dad. In the end the new family gets access to more resources and more home life stability, so those kids typically turn out better on average. The first kids remain understandably bitter.[/quote]

The second wife is typically an upgrade to the man too, as he’s more confident, making more money, and has more status, so he attracts what he believes is a more attractive, better temperament, and higher status mate. He resents and looks down on the first wife; both she and often the kids from that marriage are seen as baggage and the man wants them out of sight and out of mind. The new second family becomes his “real” family. I’m not saying any of this is morally right but it happens alllllll the time.[/quote]

So what's your point for OP? Since it's awful but typical she should just put up with it? She should accept as typical of a man without morals but she doesn't need to accept it as typical behavior to deal with for life. [/quote]

It was decades ago, it didn't and doesn't define her, millions of American kids have been in her shoes, and honestly her dad wasn't even THAT bad. He paid for her college and has been supportive of her in adulthood? Tens of millions of millennial and gen X Americans would love to have a "jerk" of a dad who was so generous. My advice would be to get over it and kiss his ass unless you want his third wife to get all of his estate when he croaks. No old man wants a buzzkill shrew adult daughter to remind him what a jerk he was decades ago. Read the memoir and jot down some interesting remarks and follow-ups about his life. Schmooze the old man.

Because nothing negative you say to an arrogant wealthy old man is going to get him to agree with you or re-write what happened. It's pointless. All the miserable echo chamber in this forum ought to read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" instead of constantly advising everyone to burn every bridge in their life, become estranged to family, and be negative and hyper confrontational to everyone.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics