Reply to When a friend asks for something of yours

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You know, after typing all that out, I think the real problem is that I’m letting my friend control how I feel about this poster.  I have a problem with the idea she has a negative image of me and it’s hard for me to sit with that uncomfortable feeling. So to make that feeling go away, I’m thinking I might fix it by just giving it to her. But then I’d have to sit with the feeling that my husband would be really hurt that gave it away.  All of this is focused on people pleasing in some way. Which maybe is selfish on my part. And people pleasing is not a good trait.

I feel like I need to get a place to be able to say no without feeling guilty or bad about myself. And without also being angry at my friend for making me feel that way either.  You know, like radical acceptance of her and her quirks and also not just acknowledging that I have my own desires but honoring them as well- without the guilt! It is so hard though not to feel the guilt.[/quote]

I wouldn't show radical acceptance to a person who is off the chain inappropriate. She knows she has some power over you because she organizes things and is trying to stiff arm you. She isn't a good person.  I don't have a single friend who would expect me to hand her my any of my possessions.  Feel guilty that you are planning on stealing something from your husband to give to someone who has no rights to the item.

Get therapy. [/quote]

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