Reply to I want to drop the rope on being mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can drop the rope to a point.  I did that recently - first one day per week now two.  The first couple weeks were rough I will not lie.  There were a couple games, etc. where the kids didn’t have what they needed or weren’t fed.  Now he has it down.  I think it also has helped his relationship with the kids a lot in so many ways.  I had to just let it go and not swoop in to fix things or do it my way.  We have a set schedule now where he is in charge of everything on two set weekdays every week.  You got it OP.[/quote]

It is never acceptable to not feed your children to prove a point.[/quote]

Agree but you can drop the rope to an extreme degree and still feed them.  Do one night take out, one night rice and beans, one night pasta with sauce, one night grilled cheese with carrot sticks.  Serve fruit with each.

OP, we hired someone who was retired that worked 2-7 and would unload dishwasher, put in laundry, get kids from school. Take them to after school activities and wipe down kitchen counters.  We paid her a lot but it was worth it.  You definitely need something like that.  We lost her during the pandemic when she decided to just retire.  Our replacement has been to rely heavily on car pooling.  If your kids are that young they should only be activities with other kids from school so you can arrange car pools.  So you’re only driving 1-2 nights a week.  And husband can get home to do it once a week and work from the car while kids are at practice.  My husband is a big law partner and is sort of famous on our kids sports teams for working during practices, during half time, etc.

You probably can’t just walk away (although I used to fantasize about that sometimes and was writing a home girl type novel in my head, but more gone mom) …. But you can probably scale down a lot of what you are doing and no one will really care.

And you can make the kids do more — clean their plates, unload disahwasher,  wipe kitchen counters, swiffer or vacuum.  You’ll need to nah a little or pay them but they can do that stuff.

I did let my kids keep their rooms pretty messy—that has been part of dropping the rope.  
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Your husband is a law partner and you feed them crap and burden everyone else with driving them around? Geez, talk about poor priorities [/quote]

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