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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm grateful for the changes AA made on my life but there are other ways to sobriety.  I honestly have no clue how people attend so many meetings without getting bored out of their minds hearing the same people talk over and over.  There are lots of people there that have absolutely nothing to say about life unless it's about alcohol or their alcoholism.

Maybe he can drop the 1 out or 2 meetings on any particular day and see if there's anything else out there.[/quote]

Yes, at 18 months, this guy should be cutting back on some meetings and paying attention to his responsibilities at home.  90 in 90 is great for newcomers, but the point of AA is being able to live your life and take care of your responsibilities and being happy.  If you're spending that time in meetings, you're not living your life. [/quote]

90 in 90 is for single people who have no support network or any kind -- no family, no church, no healthy non-alcoholic friends
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90 in 90 is for anyone at any point in their recovery whether new, coming back from a relapse or dealing with a stressful life situation. A theme that has come up in many of meetings recently is that AA IS a self-centered program.  Some marriages can withstand it, others cannot. It depends on how the non-AA spouse views their partner's alcoholism. Someone posted earlier that many marriages actually do not survive sobriety. Mine did not. My partner did not like the things I committed to change about myself and peaced out. I can't argue with that. All I know is that I am in a much better, healthier space thanks to AA. I'm no longer slowly drinking myself to death and I actually like living my life. I have lots of people in my life who are not in the program. Some of those relationships are stronger and better, others not so much.  I can't speak for anyone else but I know that AA saved my life after trying everything BUT AA for a very long time.
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Unpopular take: A lot of people in relationships with alcoholics are codependent, and rely on their status as the "victim" or "caregiver" of the alcoholic as part of their identity. When the alcoholic quits, the former "support partner" also needs to adjust or the dynamic remains out of balance. I'm not saying the partners are responsible for the addicts; we make our own choices to use/drink/gamble/watch pron/whatever. But maintaining a long-term relationship with a known addict/alcoholic is a choice, and there's usually a corresponding profile that goes along with it.

Anyone with a partner in AA should commit to AlAnon, and probably CoDA, counsling, and/or another program for their own enabling behavior(s)

https://coda.org/
http://al-anon.org/[/quote] I think your opinion is backed by pretty solid evidence. I wasn't shocked that my ex bailed. I'm so glad he did tbh. I wasn't ready to face it that soon but whatever. Face it I did and I'm grateful.[/quote]

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