Reply to Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] I really dont want to be a walking pariah[/quote]

Lol. As I drop my lovely DD off at her NWDC private and head into my C-suite job, I’m going to remember that this lady with an oops pregnancy from an angry boyfriend called me a “walking pariah”. Keep it classy, OP. [/quote]

Amazing that someone can whine about being looked down upon while mocking a young woman in vulnerable circumstances asking for help. I guess it's a rude awakening that yes, many people will still view you with disdain when you're a single mom, no matter what kind of private school you bought your way into (and, friendly reminder, just because you paid for entry to the school, certainly doesn't mean youre accepted by the other parents there or treated with the same level of regard/acceptance). The harsh reality of that seems to be really upsetting many single moms in this thread which, if anything, makes it highly entertaining to watch. [/quote]

You seem bitter and insecure. Advice get a job, get your ducks in a row and leave your DH, security is an illusion, better to be the dumper than the dumpee. [/quote]

Nothing bitter or insecure about it, unlike the single moms by choice crashing out on this thread about how much better they are than OP because they arent in a relationship. The hypocrisy is absolutely insane, and it's funny because in many (most?) places the stigma works the opposite way, so the delusions of grandeur are a bit rich. [/quote]

NP. Are you autistic? Because you seem bizarrely stuck on the same stupid argument. Can’t imagine you’re not a walking pariah, as OP put it, in real life. [/quote]

Why is "are you autistic?" the go to insult when someone on here has nothing else to say? Is it some kind of bizarre projection since so many of you on here seem to be utterly socially incompetent? Or is it just a kind of mean attempt to even the score when you feel your ego has been dinged? Either way, it's 2025- definitely not a good look (and a revealer of your age, tbh) [/quote]

“Go to insult,” wth are you talking about? And you don’t sound young yourself when you fanatically support OP and her old fashioned ideas of being a pariah bc she’s a single mom. You’re probably just OP sockpuppeting and lashing out at people bc they didn’t give you the answers you want.[/quote]

OP is being realistic about her life prospects and not fooling or deluding yourself. You should probably do the same so you dont continue to live in some alternate reality where misogyny doesnt happen and no one bats an eye at single motherhood (or fatherhood, for that matter)[/quote]

If you're secure you don't care what people think. I had my kids with my husband, BUT if I were single and time was running out you bet I would make sure to have the number of kids I want. I've known women who wasted years dating jerks who ended up without kids.  A woman can find a man anytime, single with kids. They are all over, over 30 they are usually divorced with kids. Worked with many families, the biggest trauma are kids with divorced parents who have to be split between homes. Unwanted steps and that whole mess is horrible for them. One stable home is the best environment with an attentive parent/parents. [/quote]

Yeah but everyone does it tbh. Unfortunately we live in a social society and no one wants to be the outcast loser of the group [/quote]

And if anything, this thread proves how urgently we need better mental health support for single moms, even by choice or those with money. The overwrought reactions, the insane defensiveness and aggression... I think a LOT of single moms are just STRUGGLING. Because it's hard. And choosing to go it alone vs being forced to doesnt make it any better. [/quote]

And yet here you are punching down or so you believe yourself to be. Maybe it's time to seek some mental health support for yourself, you seem overly threatened and defensive. We don't all have to choose the same path and whatever path you choose it doesn't make you less than or more than.

What are you so afraid of? Is your DH cheating are you afraid he will. Trust me single is no more contagious than married and no single mom wants your husband, single mom's generally are single because they are okay with being alone, plus who needs the drama of some bitter ex wife, a slightly broke DH and bonus kids. So why the chilliness, why so threatened?  You need to be worried about the other married women, and or the younger single, no kids much younger gal who works with your DH. It all starts out as lite, no strings fun, and then sooner or later someone catches feelings, and then what do you do? You suffer, either way, that's what people do they suffer, and they do so regardless of their marital status.

From your post I have a feeling you are suffering and that you aren't okay with that. If you aren't living a life that is filled with joy then do something about it. Getting it all, marriage, house, kids doesn't automatically bring joy and that can be crushing I know. Stop projecting your misery and bitterness on others and find your joy.

Being a single parent or the child of a single parent doesn't automatically bring pain, depression and desperation it can bring a home full of love, happiness and joy where everyone is thriving. Life is a gift and it doesn't last long, children are a gift and they don't stay children for long, they grow up fast. I find that happy people all know this and they don't take it for granted. Happy people tend to be happy no matter what life throws at them. You don't seem happy.

There is a lot of joy and peace in the freedom to live life as you please. [/quote]

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