Reply to How do you get over jealousy, when your child is the only one not going to a top college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know a ton of people that went to Towson, Salisbury,  JMU, ODU etc who are super successful, so I wasn’t delusional enough to believe that this really mattered.[/quote]

This. I was bummed DS needed to go instate (which limited choices) due to finances, but also realize that in the vast majority of cases it didn't matter. My co-worker who went to Ivy grad and undergrad and I have the same job with same salaries (I went to mid level state colleges.) ALSO I knew my kid with ADHD wouldn't have been successful at a top tier school....[/quote]

Yes, you don't want a pressure cooker environment for most ADHD kids.  You want a place with profs that actually teach well, that have accommodations in place (so you can get your notes from a note taker, etc), and a collaborative place.  The goal is to get your kid to thrive.  My ADHD kid hated school by end of HS, but knew college was the key to a better career (the kid had no interest in HVAC/Electrical/Plumbing/etc).  So they got accepted everywhere they applied and landed at a T100 school with excellent merit.  Changed majors along the way but graduated in 4 years, with an excellent job at a great company and is doing well 3 years later.  That's the goal---for them to graduate and get a job.  My kid loves their job and is doing very well.  That is because of how hard they work, and it shows in their job.

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If your kid is ADHD then it behooves them to go somewhere that REALLY wants them. That school will work with the kid as they grow and figure out how to mitigate those issues. That incentive is even more important than the specific services the Student Support Center offers.

It’s like a Mormon 4-star basketball talent telling coaches that they want to take on a 2-year mission before entering college. BYU will say “fine” because not just because they believe in the concept but because they would never sniff such a talent otherwise. But Duke or Kentucky? They’ll laugh and say yeah, OK, next. That 4-star to them is a dime a dozen.

Don’t be a dime a dozen if you’re ADHD. Sacrifice on undergraduate “prestige” for investment and nurturing.[/quote]

Love this!!! Fit is so important, especially for ADHD.[/quote]

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