Reply to Self preservation Strategies when husband sucks but your staying together for thr kids

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents stuck out their marriage until I went to college.  It was awful.  They never yelled or fought around us, but the animosity and resentment was tense.  It was NOT a happy home.  And then when they divorced, the guilt I felt was awful.  I blamed myself for them being miserable for so long.  After all, the second I was gone they could divorce and be happy again.  So they were miserable because of me.  I was angry at them.  I was angry that I had no home to go to on breaks.  I was angry that they made my sister and I grow up in a dysfunctional home and then just bail once we were gone.  My sister and I both had toxic relationships in high school and college ...because we had no idea what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like.

I know divorce comes with it's own issues.  But I get annoyed when people act like staying until the youngest goes off to college doesn't cause issues either.   Thankfully I got therapy and I'm very happily married.  My relationship with my parents was strained for years.  I had pulled way from them in my teen years and then the anger in my college years.  So it took awhile for us to have any solid relationship as an adult.  [/quote]

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