Reply to Self preservation Strategies when husband sucks but your staying together for thr kids

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m someone whose mother stayed married “for the kids”… and I wish she hadn’t done my siblings and I that so-called favor. We lost respect for her because we saw her excuse or ignore a lot of awful behavior. We lost respect for our dad, because we saw him focus on appearances instead of reality. We lost respect for both of them, because they persisted on performing this bizarre charade that everyone could see through. We felt guilty that we were the professed reason why our parents were deliberately making themselves and everyone around them absolutely miserable.

As teens, especially, we never wanted to have anyone over. As my older siblings left for college, my parents stopped even pretending to like each other — my last two years of high school were truly horrible, because it was just me and them.

It took me a really long time to learn how to form and maintain healthy relationships. My spouse will tell you I still often default to the behaviors I saw modeled.

Get your finances in order, pull on your big-girl pants and DTMFA. You have the rest of your life to enjoy. [/quote]

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