Reply to Divorced with kids and GF wants to spend more time together

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for all the comments and advice. I will provide a bit more context and information. We met by chance not on OLD. She commented on my eyes color (mix of green/blue) and that comment led us to a 1 hour chat about us. I am bi racial and everyone always ask me if I am white Puerto Rican British I have heard it all. So that's always been an icebreaker for me with people. I was not ready not looking to date when I met her. But we shared a good laugh and talk and decided to have coffee the next day. And this led to more dates and 8 months later we are now in a serious relationship. So for me it's not about dating someone younger older with kids or without kids. Dating wasn't on my radars at all and I didn't even think about the the type of women I would be interested in dating. When I told her my age she was surprised she thought I was younger. I am former DIV 2 soccer player and very much into fitness. So I keep in shape. So that's how we met.

The reasons I take my kids to their activities on my non custody days is because my ex wife is not in a good place mentally. She hasn't been for a long time. In fact our divorce wasn't the result of "bad marriage". Her psychiatrist recommended the divorce which I resisted for 2+ years. I thought I could help her but her mental issues are deeper. Anyways don't want to get too much into it. So that's the reason I am the primary parent and it's been this way since our kids were small.

She did express that she wanted me to spend more time with her. And I will be honest I didn't have the best answer at the time. She expressed that a day after I canceled one of our date last minute because my son had a calculus exam the next day and didn't tell me beforehand so I had to stay and help him because he wasn't ready with some of the topics. She understood but was disappointed understandably so.

She has been in 2 long relationships in the past one lasting 4 years and the other 5. She is beautiful woman. Of course she can find someone her age who has more time.

As I said in a couple of months when we celebrate our 1 year together I'll introduce her to my kids. And she is excited about that.

As I said in my initial post I am genuinely worried that she wants and deserves more time that I can give her. I cannot and will not break up with her because she has done nothing wrong to me. Before we meet our kids we will have a discussion and I will tell her that if she thinks this isn't working and we should break up I'll reassure her that it's okay. I just cannot take away time from my kids and their activities for her sorry. My kids are everything to me and especially with their mother not in the best place I need to be fully present for them.

Some have commented that perhaps I shouldn't date and thats a fair opinion. I have thought about that as well.  [/quote]

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