Reply to Teacher Putting in Grades Every 2-3 Weeks

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can’t believe the parents on this thread (and I’m a parent!) No wonder teachers are leaving the profession in droves.

Schools are also for learning life lessons. And your kid has just been presented, on a silver platter, two great life lessons. You’re trying to bulldoze past them because you’re “concerned that the closer we get to report card time, we won't have clarity on where she stands with her grade” for a MIDDLE SCHOOLER. This isn’t the Bar exam. Get a grip.

Lesson 1: You need to be on top of your own work and tasks. That’s HER responsibility. Your kid had four assignments laying around that she hadn’t turned in, and didn’t realize she hadn’t turned in, until she saw the grade book. That means she’s disorganized. She needs to figure out better systems and get organized so it doesn’t happen again. And I think that bright “D” sticking around for a few weeks while she feels panicky sounds like great motivation.

Lesson 2: People your report to or work with aren’t always going to be perfect, and sometimes they’ll be downright awful, and they’re certainly going to have different priorities than you, and you need to learn to work around that. This teacher updates his grade book infrequently. Okay. So, better make sure you’re turning work in on time, and you’re going to have to learn a little patience and sit and wait for something that’s important to you. That’s life! Happens to me at the office ALL the time.

The fact that you, OP, emailed the teacher and the principal (!!) about this instead of reinforcing these lessons with your kid boggles my mind. [/quote]

OP here - This took a turn. First, I never said I wasn't teaching my kid these life lessons. I absolutely am holding her responsible for being more organized and giving her tools to be better at executive functioning. We've come up with a system that she's been doing well at using (not perfect, but much better). By the way, having an 11 year old "figure out better systems" is laughable. Our job is to teach and show them, not leave them to just figure it out. They're kids. Middle school in itself is a new world and helping them navigate the nuances of multiple teachers, more self sufficiency is a parents job. I've not shielded her from the natural consequences of her disorganization. So, the D is just that. And she's definitely been shaken into taking things more seriously. However, at some point, we still need to see where she is grade-wise to determine if she's on track or needs to adjust her approach somewhere else. We've made clear that she is responsible for making this right. Me emailing the teacher and the principal after she's taken responsibility in talking to her teacher and expressing her request for feedback is me supporting her. I'll do that all day. Sorry you think your kids should just "figure it out."[/quote]

Having an 11 year old figure out better systems is most definitely not laughable. From upper elementary school on, as part of the special education process, our team let my special needs son know he would be responsible for figuring out what worked for him when he hit middle school. Up to that point, accommodations and services were decided by the team. It was truly impressive to see how seriously he took that responsibility and how successful he was with the systems he developed on his own. Despite having special needs, at 11 he was capable. You really must underestimate the ability of middle schoolers. [/quote]

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