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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Here are some more facts. My sister met BIL about 10 years ago. He stopped drinking apparently five years before that. I asked what happened and my sister shut down and was like it's in the past, blah blah. I feel like she's in denial of the real risk she and her kids are in. This man is a walking time bomb and she's just carrying on like they are this normal family. It's just ... such a façade.

When I asked why she never said anything, she was like it's no one's business why he doesn't drink. I agree in a way (it's not my life) but I am worried and concerned. We always had a pact to never get entangled with addicts and here she is...married to one. [/quote]

OP, I’m a licensed psychologist with expertise in alcohol addiction, as both a clinician and a researcher.

What you are saying has no basis in fact.  The research tells us that with 5+ years of sobriety, an individual is at no greater risk of alcohol use disorder than anyone else.  Being in recovery for that long is something to be celebrated, not punished.  The problem, in this case, is you stigmatizing your BIL.  That’s it.  Your sister didn’t tell you because she knows how judgmental you are on this issue.  I suggest you stop, apologize to your sister, and educate yourself.

I also say these things as the sister of someone with severe AUD, still actively drinking despite profound negative consequences and who has caused immeasurable damage to our family.  I know the consequences of alcohol addiction all too well.  That’s not what is going on here.  I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you’re reacting out of ignorance; do something about that ignorance, please.[/quote]

This! [/quote]

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