Reply to Does anyone have a custody schedule where both parents see kids every day?

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Reply to "Does anyone have a custody schedule where both parents see kids every day?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think your STBX should probably move out of the family home and maybe you should sell it.

If you think he's likely to start dating again or remarry, your custody plan is unworkably complex.  It kind of assumes most of your free time is child-centric.

My friend who divorced a corporate executive who cheated with coworkers bought a modest house and hired an afterschool nanny.  Her ex lives in the big house which he never furnished back to being full of furniture.  She had to nag him to restore the kids' bedrooms to decently equipped status.  The guy brings girlfriends over when the kids are there even though he's not supposed to.  And he doesn't keep up the outdoors well because he no longer has a housekeeper spouse to keep on top of things.  He's just selfish and lazy.  As years go by, he's relinquishing more of his custody time and his older child is vocally unhappy about him unless she's exploiting his permissive nature to get something she wants.  In retrospect, my friend is somewhat sorry she didn't get him to sell the house (it was put on the market but a fluke inheritance left it in his hands). It's not a happy place for anyone but Dad since the divorce.

Maybe you could consider nesting for a while? Rotating to a common apartment with the kids staying in the house as it is?   Maybe you could just rotate where the grownups sleep?  If continuity with the house is that important to the kids.

Your STBX really blew it.  You are being way too considerate and professional.  Three kids under 6 and not allowed to express your emotions without it being a justification for betrayal.  Wow!  You had every right to be angry and yet you're still striving to be mature.  I'm so sorry for your heartbreak.

Just tell him you need to explore alternate custody scenarios because you haven't found what feels right yet.[/quote]

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