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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your metal / security excuse is not valid. My mom in her 70s has a shoulder replacement and two hip replacements and mobility challenges. My MIL is an amputee with a prosthetic leg. I have been through the airport with both of them multiple times.

When I was 26, I had more money than time. Even when I technically had PTO, I didnt have the freedom to use it without guilt or a heavy workload when I returned - I was in the “paying dues” phase of my career.

Now I am a mom / wife / homeowner/ executive and my own mom will claim she can’t research a restaurant and make a reservation or make any plans. I am sure she would like to see us more often, but I am constantly juggling to get through the week. When I try to make plans and she claims she is “too busy” to think of something and plan it, I just don’t see her. She wants me to do the research, buy the ticket, host and serve dinner, etc. when she and my father are retired.

My mom’s excused are self-centered and lazy and so are yours OP. You need to discuss with your son what fits into his plans. Would he be willing to meet you at a middle point? Visit for a shorter period of time? Come visit - but work remotely part of the trip? Have you visit - but entertain yourselves during the day and hang out with him in the evenings after work? [/quote]

You sound terrible.  You have no clue how those challenges impact them and the pain they are in. [/quote]

I’m sorry you feel that way. Fortunately my parents and my in laws don’t agree. Thankfully I have a family and married into a family where people of all generations try to do what works best for everyone.

When I was working 60+ hours a week in my 20s, my parents came to visit me and were happy to spend time hanging our at the laundromat or getting groceries in addition to more fun things because they knew how little free time I had. When my spouse and I were in our early 30s, before we had kids, we visited our parents for all holidays. When we had babies and toddlers, our newly retired parents came to see us because it was easier for them to travel. Now our kids are old enough to travel easily and we go to see the grandparents again.

I used to take the bait when my mom expected me to decide the menu for a holiday (that she is hosting) or make all the plans for our visit (to her town). Now I just tell her I can’t take on that mental load and I need her to make some decisions - and that we will go along with whatever she decides. It’s a running joke that grandparents are in on that “they are soooooo busy that we wonder how they ever had time to work”. They know and have accepted that sometimes we’re drowning with young kids and demanding jobs and we can’t take on the mental load of planning for them. When they need help researching cataract surgery, I have time, but weighing the pros and cons of 4 brunch options? Nope. They can pick one and call themselves.[/quote]

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