Reply to Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If someone else’s kid gets into HYPS and yours is at JMU (or maybe even UVA) then you know on some level you’re going to feel salty about it.[/quote]

I wouldn't. We didn't do the HYSP prep that some others did. One spent years on getting the right awards for her kid. The kid was a legacy, etc.

My kids would not put up with being crafted or molded into a HYSP contender, so I don't feel a bit bad they didn't go there. I couldn't afford it anyway. [/quote]

My kid wouldn't put up with "being molded" either.  We chose to let them pick their own path in HS---that included taking 8APs, but no APUSH or APEnglish--AP Psych was the only Non-STem course (and no AP FL as it conflicted with WindEnsemble).  Also let kid do their "outside of school advanced sport for 15-20+hours/week". Didn't make them try for tons of extra clubs/activities, as I prefer they get some sleep and actually have some time to socialize in HS.

Worked out fine.  Kid got Deferred/Rejected from T10, WL at T30, 1st year abroad at T55, accepted at two in the T30-50 and attending the T30-40 school.  They love it and are excelling.  They are happier there than if they'd gotten into their ED (T10) (IMO---as they like to do well but are not a striver, striver, striver, 200% of the time---I attended that T10 and I think they definately ended up where they should be--it's really the best fit for them).

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Wtf? I didn’t mold my kid or design its life and he got into an Ivy unhooked. They did what they wanted (played a sport, joined 1 club they liked), plenty of free time and frankly if you asked sophomore year of HS- kid had idea of any colleges they would apply to. They were getting good grades but not at all thinking of college yet, didn’t even decide to apply to an Ivy until December of Senior year. It’s a fallacy all these kids are scripted or molded.  Frankly, the ones I knew gunning for that with tiger parents did not get in to any Ivies. Having a great time in college, not stressed one bit. [/quote]

+1 another unhooked kid at ivy, unmolded, picked their own activities, aced all the classes/perfect score on almost all testing, piled on EC hours because they loved it, did not suffer in high school. He did not ED just waited for RD to have options open. 
For the true brightest, they can do it all and still sleep in high school. When you have a kid like this it makes sense why they get into multiple T10s and others do not. They are a different level. College has been intense and challenging since he picked engineering yet rewarding to be around so many similar kids. [/quote]

The fact you and PP are both on this specific sub-forum and using college admissions buzzwords teases out you're both full of sh*t. :roll: [/quote]

Wrong. I am a third poster with a kid who let me know early to stay out of their way, and I did. Working hard came easy and they excelled at anything they decided to put time and attention to. They were accepted at all the most selective schools. Yes, I feel lucky but also know how wrong it is for a stirver parent to try and copy my kids trajectory bc it will not result in the same outcome. Your child will be deeply hurt by trying to be anything other than who they are. Not all kids should be at a top school, and you can't force it or make it happen if they just are not "that kid."[/quote]

THIS!! Some sanity finally. These schools are not for everyone! The ones that struggle the most with imposter syndrome are the ones who were pushed and prodded by tigermoms and ended up in a place out of their league. It is sad. We hear tales from both of ours about kids who should not be there. Some are athletes or hooked but some just got lucky and got in TO or whatever. The majority who succeed at T15/ivy are independent driven creative people who thrive on competition. TO has caused more mental health problems by opening doors that should have been closed[/quote]

I agree the schools are not for everyone, none are, better to thrive and not survive for any student at any level of selectivity. My unhooked and unmolded got into ivies and top schools, by no means all like someone else mentioned. They attended a top high school and were top of class, naturally very mature and intelligent. Perfect test score with no prep, great study skills and easily managed top rigor load. They are doing well at a so-called inflation school but it’s not a cakewalk, and I  genuinely wonder sometimes how others fare that come in less prepared whether if be academically, executive function, study skills, socially, maturity etc., especially in tough majors. My kid mentions how they were the go-getter in high school that things came easily to and now that’s pretty much everyone in class. You don’t stick out as a standout anymore in that crowd.[/quote]

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