Reply to Why do people have to use the phrase “ we don’t do...”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Huh. To me it sounds a little less pretentious than saying, "I don't allow juice", which IMO implies that juice is bad. "We don't do..." sounds a little more casual and less passive-aggressively judgemental.[/quote]

This. I tell my daughter “we don’t” because I’d rather not say “juice is bad for your teeth” since she’s totally going to repeat whatever I say in school and I don’t want it to sound judgy[/quote]

Huh, I take the exact opposite approach. If I limit something I tell my kid exactly why. I don’t serve juice at home and limit sweets, and she’s knows it’s because sweets are delicious but bad for our health and teeth so we eat them in moderation. [b]Why would it be bad for your kid to state that factual message?[/b]

I allow only a few minutes of TV a day while we brush teeth, only some old school claymation stuff. I don’t buy juice, don’t allow artificial dyes, organic only, all the annoying health clichés.

I allow my kid to watch or eat whatever when we are out of the house or at someone else’s. I view it as harm reduction, not some binary control thing. The social costs to your family and kids of being the judgmental weirdos are too high. If you generally eat healthy at home and are honest with your kids about why you make your choices but that other families make different ones for many reasons, I think it will all turn out ok.[/quote]

Because she will state that factual message to every other four year old in her class and likely at every playdate and birthday party and then kids and adults will feel like they’re being judged. When her social awareness grows in a bit I’ll tell her the factual reason we don’t do juice. Until then I think it’s kinder on everyone to let them speculate that “we don’t do juice” means our family has a specific juice-related concern that isn’t a universal. [/quote]

Why is is "kinder" to have other families think she has "a specific juice-related concern that isn’t a universal."  Other parents who give their kids juice KNOW that juice has sugar in it; they have just taken different approaches to when and how much sugar their kids can have.   It is kind of condescending to think that a parent who gives their kids juice thinks you are judging them.[/quote]

Yeah I’m sure when your kid gets told in PreK that juice gives you cavities you’re going to respond to your kid that you know that and the kid who told them that is just telling them the truth, right? [/quote]

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