Reply to People in sexless marriages....how do you deal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I remember the last time my DW seemed really turned on and initiated sex. It was September of 2022. That was great! Since then, I’m really the one who initiates but there’s a 50/50 chance of being shot down. I’d say we average maybe once month to six weeks at best. I get frustrated, but try to stay positive. When I try to talk about it, it doesn’t seem to help. If I say something like, “We haven’t had sex since my birthday” (at the end of August), she gets annoyed and says she can’t believe I’m keeping track. A week or so ago she asked me what was wrong. Said I seemed down. I explained that it was probably because of the pre mentioned reason and that I kept hoping (daily) that she might be the one to show interest or initiate it. Well, here we are a weekend later…[/quote]

The first rule of sexless marriage is don’t talk about sexless marriage.

Because it makes the *witholding* spouse upset.

And we can’t have that.[/quote]

Yep. BTDT. Whatever the reason, it’s crazy not to be able to objectively acknowledge “you know, most people anticipate that sex will be part of a marriage”. 
[/quote]

DW here. I’m yelled at aggressively if I bring up the lack of sex. Even if I’m incredibly careful about how I bring it up and what I say. [/quote]

[b]Yelled at about what? [/b]

Being a slob all day long? Neglecting your children and spouse? Forgetting to do needed things? Being a jerk all the time? Then bringing up how you want sex?[/quote]

Yelled at for acknowledging I want sex and that we haven’t had it recently. It damages his ego.

I’m not a slob, rarely forget to do things and I don’t neglect my children or spouse. I’m also not fat.

[b]I know it’s hard to believe but there truly are spouses who are low drive and it has nothing to do with what the other spouse does or doesn’t do. [/b][/quote]
Agree with you on the bolded. But according to dcum, this is possible only when husband is low drive. When wife is low drive, it’s always husband’s fault [/quote]

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