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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, now he wants to be Mr Mom, when they are 12 and 15 and almost completely self sufficient. Fascinating.[/quote]

Yes - this also gets me.. [b]He was so absent when I needed him. He went to the office before they went to school and came home after dinner. He never made an effort to help on a daily basis with the kids.[/b] [/quote]
In one post you say this is what you love, and in another you say this is what you hate. What DO you want? [b]He wants to be involved now, he wants to step back and have more time with family. [/b]Why does that bother you?[/quote]

I don't see where people are getting this.  He's already had all this free time since Covid and hasn't directed any of it toward his family/kids.  [b]He's saying he'll only do so if his wife gets a higher paying job[/b].  That's the bothersome part.

If someone's gone all day for a job then not helping with kids is reasonable because they simply can't.  If someone is sleeping in every single morning while you handle the morning rush, not helping with kids is bothersome.  My DH has an easy mostly-WFH job and can prioritize his workouts, but he's also a hands-on dad.  I can't imagine how much I'd resent him if he was snoozing every morning while I handled wakeup/get dressed/breakfast/drop off by myself, or if he got off work every day before me but somehow I was still in charge of all household tasks.[/quote]
And [b]I don't see where you're getting this either,[/b] because OP doesn't say it's an either or situation. Just that its a "now that I have the flexibility, we can look at you expanding".

Quote for reference

"Now he's telling me I should find a new job that pays more because he can do all the shuttling of the kids/dr appts, housework, etc. I've made a sacrifice in comp and have worked a flexible job since they were little to be the main caretaker. "

If no one needs to be their main caretaker (because either OP is the only one and doesnt need DH, or if DH wants to the kids are old enough they no longer need one - make up your damn mind), why can't OP get a better job? Because she doesn't [b]want [/b]to. Which is fine, but let's not call one person lazy and unambitious when the other won't lift a finger either...[/quote]

From the OP, the part you didn't quote.  "He sleeps in and many days he doesn't see the kids before school, he's up late watching tv several weeknights."   So he has all the free time, and doesn't direct it to his kids or family.  That's in the OP, it's not an assumption.  Now read the part you're quoting - he's saying he *can* do those things, not that he does!  So it's a weird ultimatum from him that she needs to go earn more money and then he'll step up on the kid/house front.  She mommytracked herself because that was their agreement, which makes getting a higher paying job more difficult.  And if you're so sure that he still makes a "high income" except now with only 10% of the effort why does she need to make more at all?  Does someone have a gambling problem that hasn't come up?

He's not lazy because he works from home.  I work from home, so does DH, it's great.  He's lazy because he watches her do all the childcare/housework and just opts out to golf and sleep late and go to the gym.   All things that benefit himself and only himself.  And he's managed to frame any discussion around him contributing more around her "earning" his effort by making more money, even though she has a job and hasn't taken a step back on any front.[/quote]
I don't think you understand what an ultimatum is, because that aint it. And assuming gambling problems now? Hilarious! Really just making sh*t up to make the DH, who wants to spend more time with his family, a bad guy  :roll: [/quote]

Well that addresses zero of my points, but a flounce was expected from the selective quoting and the fact you keep misrepresenting the fact pattern.[/quote]
You don't have any points, you made up "facts" that weren't in the OP (from which I was directly getting MY info) to try and bolster your case against a DH you don't even know. Bizarre that you say I'm the one misrepresenting when you are literally spinning fairy tales. [/quote]

Actually, I quoted the OP directly, the part you were trying to ignore to misrepresent the situation.  And I didn't make up any facts, I pointed out that there's no explanation for the need for more money.  But you are super duper mad that I didn't fall for your cherry picking so here come the cursing and emojis.  Don't interrupt your flounce on my behalf.[/quote]

DP. Show me the need for more money. [/quote]

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