Reply to Told my DH to lose weight, it’s affecting everything

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I’d like to just accept him as he is and move on. But our sex life is dead. And that really matters to me. [/quote]

Go to therapy and do the work. Stop starving yourself and complaining that you are hungry.

I hope he's getting all the action he can handle from the nurses. [/quote]

We need to stop telling women, or men for that matter, to go to therapy for not being attracted to an overweight partner. This HAS to stop. Not being attracted to an overweight, unhealthy person is not a mental illness that needs fixing. Evolution does not want us to be attracted to unhealthy people. It’s natural to not want that. [/quote]

I think the therapy would need to be about why OP is pushing away everyone.  Many men have chimed in here saying that their wives said something similar in a way that managed to still communicate that they were loved.

OP seems not to understand why her husband is hurt.  I’m going to guess that this is something that has come up with her in other contexts, where she has no idea why she pissed off people around her.

Even if she cannot salvage her marriage, it would be useful for her to figure out why she pushes away people she loves and has to make everyone feel inferior.  
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Or her dh can just grow up and deal. [/quote]

That still won’t make OP have any friends or do any better at work or have good relationships with her kids.

Or do you think that she talks like this to her DH, but she manages to be empathic when her daughter doesn’t make the soccer team?  [/quote]

I don’t know I’m not making up stories in my head. [/quote]

I’m not making up stories.  She is totally clueless.   She was demeaning to someone she loves and has no idea why they got upset about it.  
It doesn’t matter if it’s her husband’s weight or her son being rejected by his girlfriend.  She has no idea how to talk about sensitive subjects.

This is why she has no friends of her own when she goes to parties and can’t deal with her husband having a “hangdog look.”  
It’s also why she can’t divorce him.  
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