Reply to Blended Family Expenses

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is the stepchild carrying a full courseload? Obviously they are supposed to be studying and writing papers in addition to in-class time. If they are a part-time student that's different.

It's all too common for second wives to not understand what expenses are age-appropriate for older teens and young adults. Housing etc really is horribly expensive. Be sure your perceptions are accurate. It's not realistic to expect the child to earn enough for living expenses while also carrying a full courseload, especially if they are in an expensive area.[/quote]

I agree. My oldest is in college with a full course load and there is no way he can pay even a quarter of his way, even if he had the time to get a full-time job, which he doesn't. We agreed to this expensive college when we had the money. Now we're facing an unexpected financial crisis (it's a completely crazy issue with our bank) and funds are tight. Temporarily, we hope. It's been very stressful, and under stress, our marriage has not done well. My husband said things he can't take back.

Hang in there, OP. Maybe go over all your finances together and try to find ways to reduce your lifestyle so funds can be re-allocated. This is what we're doing right now. Anything non-essential was cancelled. And obviously, no frivolity for any of you or your children, including the adult stepchild. Tuition and room and board, that's it. He can pay for everything else, like transport (unless he's really far away), clothes, books and occasional treats, with his little jobs. Do not sacrifice retirement or college funds.
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