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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like OP has a problem with her DH, not BigLaw.

OP, you and DH need to get on the same page. Either he shares your values and agrees to downshift to a less demanding role (in house or lower tier firm or something else) or he is unwilling to downshift and you agree to suck it up and reengineer your life so you’re not so unhappy.

Your venting is a sign that something needs to change: either his behavior or your attitude. Talk to each other, come to a decision together, and support each other as much as possible to make it work.

(Note, changing BigLaw is not an option. The business model is what it is: The clients pay very high billable rates for a very high level of service. They’re paying for complete support and immediate responsiveness, pretty much 24/7. That’s the product BigLaw is selling. If DH no longer wants to provide that service, no problem. I’m guessing he has plenty of other options. But again, BigLaw firms are not going to be less responsive to client emergencies, or even to the non-emergency whims of their clients. High billable rates = High level of service. It is what it is.) [/quote]

This! I feel like someone comes in here with a similar rant every six months or so. It is usually the same combo of more children that usual (at least three), DH works SOOOOO hard, mom does it all, she's burnt out. These are somewhat common problems except in the big law case you have an easy solution at your fingertips --- you can pay for help and DH is professionally successful enough that he has options. I feel a lot worse for a woman doing it all whose DH is not making 700k plus a year. We paid a full-time nanny when DH and I were combined making less than $230k... you can definitely afford quality help. [/quote]

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