Reply to Can I salvage my career after SAHM 22 years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not in a position to hire anyone right now but if I were, I would hire someone like you for a junior lawyer position. And I would do it gladly. You have the same prerequisites any junior lawyer would have (law school isn’t helpful anyway), and I would expect personal maturity and organizational skills. [/quote]

Same.  I work at a small law firm of former BigLaw lawyers.  We have high standards but can't compete in hiring with BigLaw.  The associates we've hired the past 5 years have all been terrible despite having good grades from respectable law schools -- can't write, no ability to figure things out on their own or problem solve, can't analyze a case correctly, complain about 2 in-person days in the office.  I can only conclude that there has been a brain drain from law to STEM fields.  [b]I've been thinking lately that what we really need is a SAHM former lawyer with good credentials heading back to work. [/b] I can train someone within reason to write or read a case but I can't figure out how to get someone to problem solve or take ownership of a project who does not seem to have that chip.  I've been practicing for almost 30 years and the decline the last few years has been notable.

OP I think the suggestion to be CASA volunteer is a good one -- just to get you back in the mindset of advocacy and being around lawyers.  If you have some money to throw at the problem, it might be worth checking out some LLM programs.  I'm normally not an advocate of these, but in your case if you can go and do a year of law school and get good grades it might get your confidence up, and you will at least have something on your resume to show you are serious.

Don't do document review -- it's the worst and it won't get you where you want to go.  Tell everyone you know you are looking -- maybe a solo or small firm will pick you up to do some temp overflow work or something.  Get your foot in the door.  Even if you are in your 50s you could still have a 10-20 year work life ahead of you.  Law is one field where ageism is less of a problem -- I work with plenty of crusty old lawyers who are at the top of their game.  Good luck!

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I guess. Whenever I hear of SAHMs who stayed home for long periods of time I think they aren’t career minded at all and don’t want a career.  Which is fine but I am not motivated to help them find a job.  Pretty much every woman has legit reasons to stay home but if you want to work, you do.  It seems high unusual that someone who will focus on a job and do a great job would go without one for 22 years.

Illness that somehow lasts 22 years but she is now “healing.”  What kind of illness is it and what does that mean?  To me it’s more support she doesn’t want a job.  [/quote]

Well, you are correct that my priority for the last 22 years was not work - it was my son. If I had a job, there is no way I would have been able to advocate for his rights in the public or private school system (yes, he has been through both systems in my effort to find a supportive school environment). If I had worked for the past 22 years, I would never have been able to tutor him. Many tutors gave up on him. With my help, he graduated high-school with a 3.8 GPA, having taken a handful of AP and dual enrollment classes. He is maintaining a GPA of 3.3 in college.

My illness began 8 years ago due to exposure to environmental toxins. I was diagnosed with early COPD with a lung capacity of 40% and was immunocompromised. Covid left me bedridden for one month and weakened me further. Conventional medicine could not help me. With the help of a functional medical doctor and holistic practitioners, I am regaining my health now.

So you are absolutely correct that I chose NOT to work because my priorities were my son and my health. Things are different now. [/quote]

I’m sorry but advocating for your son could not have been a full time occupation. You could have certainly had some job throughout that period, many special need parents. You chose not to work because you didn’t need to and probably didn’t like it much. And that’s fine. But that will be the perception of many potential employers, and it will be somewhat valid.

I am sorry you had serious health effects, what toxins were you exposed to as a SAHM? Most people encounter them at workplaces.  Anyways, your screed against “conventional medicine” doesn’t really pertain to the jobs board, and certainly never mention any of that in the process for your job search. [/quote]

Agree with the poster above.

I bet OP sees some of her former classmates benefiting from decades of career investment and grinding with important jobs and wants to be like them.

Plenty of us have to work and provide and don’t have the luxury of quitting. We just balance it and have a constant to-do list. And yes, we have impressive titles or whatever. But those didn’t fall into our laps.
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No. Since I became a SAHM, I never kept in touch with any of my former classmates. My entire world changed, including the people I kept in touch with. My days were filled with taking my son to occupational therapy, sensory therapy, social group therapy, floortime, doctor appointments, speech therapy, managing IEPs and 504's, doing online research, finding tutors, then homeschooling him after he quit the public school system. He isn't my only child either, so I was busy all day.

As for the previous poster's comment, I chose not to work because my highest priority was my son. The next priority was my health. My career wasn't a priority at all during that time. I think I already made that clear in another reply that you probably missed.

I'm very blessed that I didn't need to work for income, either.

Environmental toxins may be at workplaces, but about 40% of homes in the US have unsafe levels of environmental toxins also. Unfortunately genetic testing showed I don't have the ability to detox as well as 75% of the population.

And I made TWO short comments about conventional medicine, so...not a screed. I mentioned that because because navigating allopathic treatment and the conventional standard of care options for my condition took many years before I found holistic solutions. This kept me out of the job market. This is relevant to my post. But I am indeed a big fan of holistic medicine now too, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the subject of jobs.

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You’ve now lost my sympathy, OP. I do all of those things and work full time. I am also a single mom.

It’s fine to want to work after many years of staying at home but you’ve lost me once you’re feeling sorry for yourself about all the reasons you stayed home. What a luxury.

Signed, Single mom with a disability and chronic illness and a child with autism, ADHD, and anxiety [/quote]

Lol I don’t recall asking for or needing your sympathy. There is absolutely no way you could have done what I did and still worked full time. [b]My son’s psychiatrist recommended a minimum of 40 hours of floor time a week. I did 50.[/b] Don’t tell me you kept him up all night depriving him of sleep to get all that floor time in. Many children with autism have ADHD and anxiety also. Comes with the ASD dx.

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LOL!!![/quote]

That clinched it. OP is an exquisite troll. Brava. [/quote]

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