Reply to ADHD 14-year old delinquent stealing. Help!

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "ADHD 14-year old delinquent stealing. Help! "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]You really need to go back to the doctor and reveal all about the stealing. Clearly he is still impulsive, angry, lacking empathy, etc. He should be on meds daily. Mood meds in particular need to be taken daily, or else they don't build up to an effective level.

I would also hire a private criminal attorney. Meet with that person and reveal all to the attorney (someone with a prosecutorial not defense background) - then have the attorney sit with your kid and explain incident by incident what criminal charges would be filed, and what conviction would look like - number of years in jail, what kind of jail, what kind of financial penalty or restitution, and what post-incarceration release looks like (probation and future job prospects).  Financial and computer crimes can be some very serious federal charges. The lawyer should also explain criminal defense - how much it costs, and the difference in quality between a private defense attorney and a legal aid attorney.  In private, in the solo meeting you have to set all this up, you should also have the attorney explain what YOUR liability would be if your DS committed a serious crime, financial or otherwise. Are you obligated to pay for criminal defense? If you don't and he is convicted could you be liable for any civil action as the parent?  Make it clear that you live him but if he breaks the law, you will not throw the financial future of the rest of tbe family away in his defense, and that you don't think it's helpful to protect him from the consequences of his mistakes - those consequences are how we learn, sometimes very painful lessons.

Then I would sit down and explain to your kid - you know he's not a bad kid but your terrified the choices he's making will have a very negative impact on his future - and you have to acknowledge it is HIS future. Even if he doesn't want to go to college, he will have a very hard time getting any kind of job with a financial fraud conviction - no job requiring any trust, no job which gives him access to customers, computers, finances or kids. Think about how much that eliminates. Hard to get into college or grad school.

Then I would turn the conversation and say that he is clearly very bright - what is it he would like to try or do? What is it that interests him? What would he like to know more about? Be willing to listen to what he says he is interested in and support further experiences with it.

I hesitate to say this - but he's clearly very smart about computers, which could be a very lucrative future for him. Can you make a deal that you would support him learning more if he  signs a contract that he will not use the knowledge to do something dishonest, hurtful or illegal?  You have to think about it - it might be like giving him a loaded weapon.

FWIW, I'm not sure why you have any of your financial stuff online. Set up a billpayer account with only a small amount of monthly budget money in it. Sign up for text alerts on it. Pull all your other financial accounts offline.  Go back to telephone and in person banking. All financial passwords are ones you keep in your head.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics