Reply to Non-monogamy: dealbreaker? or am I being close-minded?

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Reply to "Non-monogamy: dealbreaker? or am I being close-minded?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does poly ever work long term? I get that it could work short term, but it is hard to imagine it being both stable and good for all concerned (not just for some) longer term.[/quote]

Yes. Been in a poly relationship for 8 years now.[/quote]

But does it work for ALL concerned? In my (admittedly limited) experience, not my own but talking to friends who have gone down that path, it often works great for the man... or the member of the "polycule" with the most power (financial, social, whatever), and not nearly as well for one or more of the others. A lot of my friends seemed to be in near-constant states of emotional distress and anxiety, worsened by the pressure they felt to "hold up the side" by insisting that it was all great. When you're told by your peers/portners/pop culture that mature, generous, giving people who are good communicators can naturally thrive in a polyamorous relationship, admitting you're unhappy with any aspect of it means saying, basically, "I guess I am not mature, generous and giving." My experience was that my women friends felt this very acutely, and several ended up leaving that life and saying that in hindsight it felt like just another cover for male entitlement.

It's sort of like when the boss asks the low ranking employees how they like working for the company and they're like "Oh, it's great!" They may say it. They may even try to hard to believe it. But they may not mean it.[/quote]

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