Reply to It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”

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Reply to "It’s shocking how many parents tell us (DINKS) we “did it right”"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is a lot of denial in this thread about the true state of things out there in parenthood land.

There are many anonymous forums where people complain bitterly about their lives as parents, there is a growing body of sociological research on the issue of regretting parenting, there is an undeniable declining birth rate, there is abundant evidence that more and more people are comfortable admitting that they don't want that choice and it is more and more acceptable to admit that.

A person can love their child tremendously and still hold the position that parenthood was a mistaken choice for them. A person who tells their child they are a mistake is profoundly flawed, possibly psychopathic. It shouldn't be difficult for a person of average intelligence to grasp this distinction.

I have no doubt that some of the people who have posted comments excoriating OP here are people who have had very dark moments of deep regret over their choice of parenthood. Like anything else in life, it is very often those who protest most who are most conflicted.
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+1[/quote]

The kids are in the house for about 20 years. There's plenty of time to live that childfree life before and after the kids. It's the best of both worlds. [/quote]

While I agree it’s a short time but still an Ironman to raise kids.

I’m 55 empty nesting have a ton of time and money.

Still about 10% of people regret having kids.

It’s hard without money and if you don’t have the desire.

Thank god birth control and abortions are still legal.  🤞 [/quote]

Let's say 10% DO regret it. Now tell us what % of DINKS regret their choice?

I think it's far more risky for the woman. The man can up and decide at 45 he does want a family and find someone 15 years younger to have one with. A 45 yr old woman has to live with her regrets.[/quote]

A woman is the one whose body will be changed forever - and who, in all likelihood, will be the one raising a child alone if her spouse decides to leave anyway. Would you like to risk being a single parent?

Every choice has tradeoffs. And on some days, you think about - or feel - those tradeoffs differently. At 50, I do not have any regrets about not having kids - and I am so happy for the people who wanted kids and have them. I know they have riches in their lives I'll never experience, and I know I have an ease that they will never experience. We made our choices.
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If you have kids you always risk being a single parent. Death, divorce, etc. Everyone knows this.[/quote]

Exactly. That's just a response to the person who says that if you don't have kids you run the risk of your spouse leaving you and having kids with someone else. There are risks no matter what - you choose the ones you can (hopefully) live with.[/quote]

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