Reply to Equitable/reasonable division of care among siblings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reading your recent answers I've come to realize that it isn't really about helping mom, but it's about some long time resentment you've built towards your sibling. It seems you haven't communicated for a long time (sibling showing up empty handed over the years) and have resorted to passive aggressive behavior. If your mom lives by herself, cannot drive, cannot take uber, cannot get groceries or medicine... she should not be living by herself. People age in place when they're functional. The more you respond, the more it comes out your mom is not functional or independent, but left on her own, waiting for kids to do things that are necessary in daily life. I and several other PP don't understand why in these circumstances you don't get mom professional help, all of this is literally unsustainable. [/quote]

DP and I completely agree.

I posted earlier about the love language problem.  It is clear I was correct, that your love language is acts of service and you have mentally tied acts of service to love for you and your mom.  Your unhelpful sibling does not share this.  It is also clear you are not ready to hear or process this.

I get it, but you will not be ready to have a relationship with this sibling until you start to understand him.  It is also clear this won’t go away because you will continue to be angry with your mom that your mom does not share your feelings, and you will be livid when things are left equally.

I don’t know if this is recoverable, but at least I warned you.  That is all DCUM can do.[/quote]

This doesn't make sense. I'm the sibling who is the parental caregiver and my love language is gifts. Not acts of service, that I actually do. The entire point of love language philosophy is to figure out what the people you love and care about have as their love language, and then try to express it to them in a way that is meaningful to them. So, my brother would get some brownie points with me if he sent a gift of flowers or a massage to say thank you for being MIA. [/quote]

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