Reply to If you were from a family with a golden child and scapegoat, how did they turn out as adults?

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Reply to "If you were from a family with a golden child and scapegoat, how did they turn out as adults?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Scapegoat (that's me) moved far away to avoid getting drawn into that dynamic, living my best life. Have a somewhat distant but otherwise positive relationship with parents.

Golden child stayed golden until around age 40, when she suddenly realized that she was totally enmeshed with our parents and that the flip side of getting all their love and attention is that she also got all their expectations, meddling, neediness, etc. She basically does not speak to our parents anymore except to demand money (and I mean demand, she feels owed). My parents give it to her because it's the only way they ever see her or her kids. It's messed up.

Sister and I have no relationship at all, I only hear about this second hand from my mom, and when I do I say "I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds hard" but otherwise do not involve myself.[/quote]

This is my family exactly.  My sister feels completely entitle to my parents' money.  She had their help raising her kids and then when COVID hit, after my dad died, she cut off my mom from her pod and decided to go no contact.

It's hard.  Any time I try to stand up for myself (I'm the caretaker now that my sister has stopped communicating with mom, but my needs don't matter in the family at all) I get called a bully.  But, with a lot of therapy, I'm feeling like my life is more balanced and I can make decisions about what I want my relationships with family members to look like.[/quote]

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