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[quote=Anonymous]Hey OP, so sorry to hear that and I wish I had advice that helps as the parent of a former colic baby. I can mostly only offer commiseration and some assurance that might help. Unfortunately through my own experience and over time I find that a lot of online advice about true colic crying with respect to certain interventions is not really that good or evidence based. If you have been cleared by medical providers most of what I can offer is strategies for your own mental state. But obviously if your instinct or patterns tell you something is truly wrong please don’t hesitate to contact medical advice.

-my baby slowly grew out of the colic crying over the first 4-5 months. I know it does seem like a long time but the time will pass. And there will still be a lot of “baby” stage time that will be more enjoyable for all.

-I know one of my main fears was like…the baby will start the colic crying and will somehow never stop. But really the baby can only do it for a few hours (which is horrific enough I know) before the baby eventually needs a deeper sleep. So reminding myself that it was going to end was helpful

-My baby continued to be fairly high needs, fussy, and cried and woke frequently but was able to be soothed much easier. So that was a big difference from the colic times

-there is some research that a certain percentage of infants have inconsolable crying and this may be linked to certain neurological pathways that are immature and basically just like make the baby be in a crying loop. I know all over the internet and this thread people will say “colic is a symptom! You need to try xyz! Advocate for your baby.” Unfortunately that may not be true, and it can worsen the mental state of the parent as they continue to pursue unnecessary interventions. I want to walk a fine line here because you should always rely on medical providers who have seen your child, but I can tell you that nothing is “wrong” with my former colic baby now. I felt like providers were mostly helpful in guiding me with this and the risks of interventions. I personally decided not to use any reflux medications (my baby did also have severe reflux) or pursue any oral tie revisions. I do not regret this.

-The “eat, sleep, play” schedule advice and independent sleep ladder stuff is really really bad advice for a colic baby, please forget all of that. Now is not the time to worry about any habits. Your child will calm down at some time in the future and it will be easier to build from that point on. Right now, feed to sleep and hold the baby when you can, set up an area for yourself to do so and relax. Lay the baby down when the baby is in a deep sleep (arm is floppy) by clasping them tightly to your body until they contact the bassinet. Then slowly lift your upper body while your arms remain in a “nest” around the baby. Then you will slowly remove yourself from there. Once my baby could push up and crawl, I got a floor bed for us because the crib was too low and I felt more comfortable then that the most risk had passed. Probably around late infancy I could have worked towards independent sleep but I didn’t choose to because I found our system relaxing enough and didn’t want to mess with it.

-It is scary and hard to deal with inconsolable newborn crying. There is a national maternal health hotline that you can call or text 24/7 for support. This is a good option at night or if you need someone to talk to: https://mchb.hrsa.gov/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline

-outdoor light and stimulation may help. Even just walking outside and standing there. At night or when it was too cold (my baby was born in the winter), turning on the fan and shower in the bathroom sometimes helped as well. When the baby is calm, enjoy yourself and place no expectations for contrast cards or Montessori learning or whatever else you see. Tummy time can be done on your chest. I had extreme guilt about this but needed to survive, thankfully my baby crawled at 5 months and pulled to stand at 6 months by some kind of miracle. Otherwise I would have gotten more serious about it around that time.

You can do this. You love your baby and you will get through it. There is a lot of joy waiting on the other side. [/quote]

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