Reply to how to tell 10 yo they have to change schools

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD10 has very low frustration tolerance. We've had several assessments, but nothing has turned up beyond "mild anxiety" for which she has been in unsuccessful therapy. Unfortunately, her private school is no longer willing to handle her outbursts and has suggested she go public next year.

She will be [b]devastated[/b]. And obviously, she'll blame herself. What can we do to make this transition better for her?[/quote]

Well, she has herself to blame. My suggestion is work with that. Behavior has consequences. This is a teaching moment.[/quote]

What other consequences? She's basically been grounded all year (no friends over). She has zero devices left. I haven't decided if losing the last was permanent. I'm honestly at a loss of what else there is. [/quote]

Do you realize how stupid and outlandish and rigid you sound? What you're essentially saying is, "We've been doing the exact same things over and over again for years and they aren't working. How do we continue doing the exact same thing?" Your parenting is a serious problem. It's not working. Whatever you did for your other kids, this one is different. It is literally unbelievable to me that you cannot see this and think you should just do more of the same punishing that already hasn't been working for years. You need a completely different approach and viewpoint and probably family therapy. Not "what else can we take away?" A totally different paradigm. Because this one isn't working for this child. [/quote]

Obviously I can't [b]reward[/b] a child like this, and the early posters realized that.[/quote]

yes you can “reward” her. because she’s a child, your child in fact, and she deserves to be loved by her parents regardless of what happens at school. you give her (appropriate) consequences but you don’t withhold love. [/quote]

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