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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]quoting you "but his impression is that many of the girls spout feminist ideas that they have not really thought about themselves, and they are combative in class and seem very unhappy and stressed academically."

Combative. Feminist. Sounds like how the STA boys used to like to put down NCS girls back in the 90s!

I'll grant you stressed academically is accurate. NCS is harder than STA and the girls work much harder than their counterparts at STA.[/quote]

Why is described by someone as feminist a put down?  My son’s sisters would describe themselves that way. However, repeating traditional feminist ideas without having explored them with intellectual rigor suggests more of a “following the party line” than independent thinking.[/quote]

So STA boys still look down on/ are cowered by NCS girls.

It appears that nothing has changed since the ‘80s. [/quote]

I’m a feminist and mom of two STA boys. I would not say the boys are in any way cowed by NCS girls.

The cultures of the two schools are quite different. The STA boys learn early on to have respectful conversations that leave their interlocutors with dignity, respecting their basic humanity even if they disagree.  You disagree with the position, you don’t disrespect the person.

The NCS girls are taught that being strong means disparaging the other person to the point of cancellation.  If you disagree with a “correct” position, you should be crushed like a bug. There is no distance between the position and the person.

This is what I believe the other mom’s sons meant when they said the NCS girls are “combative.”

My children went to Beauvoir, have friends among the NCS girls, and I know and love some of the NCS girls. However, they have been growing in a different intellectual culture. NCS is decidedly dominated by more left-of-center thinking and I’d probably feel more comfortable in that parent community. I’d be surrounded by people who agree with me. The disadvantage of that environment is that it allows the girls to become mired in groupthink.

STA is more politically diverse. It also explicitly teaches respectful, considerate debate and asks the boys to learn how to take on difficult issues without disparaging one another. That is a valuable life skill and is one of the many things about STA that makes the tuition more than worthwhile to me and my husband. That’s not to say there isn’t any groupthink among members of the STA community but the boys are challenged to challenge themselves and one another - politely and with brotherhood in mind. [/quote]

BVR, NCS (and STA hopeful) parent here. How do you know this about NCS girls? How can you claim to be a feminist and the putting down a whole community of girls? Is this what kids learn at STA? I guess it’s good that you don’t have daughters.[/quote]

My boys are friends with NCS girls. We (gasp) occasionally have them in our home and I overhear them discuss issues, debate, and this is what I’ve observed. I’d say my comments are less about the girls and more about the teaching culture at NCS.

Based on the way the girls debate, they have not been taught to do so with the same kind of consideration for their opponents/interlocutors that the boys at STA are. I’ve heard NCS girls use ad hominem and personal attacks in a way that I do not see in STA boys of the same age.

[b]I do have a daughter. She does not attend NCS.[/b]

I will observe that you have used the same style of argument that I’ve observed in NCS girls: jumping to conclusions (assuming I don’t have a daughter), unfounded accusations confusion (how dare you attack an entire community of girls; I observed a style of argument/debate not the girls themselves), misplaced attribution (as a mom I obviously don’t attend STA so the question “Is this what kids learn at STA?” makes no sense; you’re attributing to STA and its boys an observation made by a female parent whose education could not have occurred at STA).

Thank you for so perfectly exemplifying what I was trying to convey. [/quote]

This says it all. For whatever reason the parents at STA that have daughters at schools other than NCS have a very strange chip on their shoulder about NCS. I don't get it. I think they are envious that their daughters are not part of the experience on the close and have some regrets and justify it by attacking a school of young women. I am happy I do not feel that animosity toward any school. To each your own. [/quote]

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