Reply to s/o How do we screen potential spouses for mental illness?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Excessive porn use and time on screens rather than engaging in relationships, hobbies, etc. was one I was going to mention. Or someone who uses extreme exercise to manage mental health, excessive running and biking fall in this category. No long term friendships. If estranged from family are there genetics to pay attention to there?

Sorry, PP. Often the behaviors don't develop until the stress of family life. We did not miss them, they were not there yet. But, poor coping styles may have been evident. [/quote]

Yes the maladaptive coping methods they’ve perfected over the decades are just as bad:
Lying
Yelling
Shutting down 
Stonewalling
Gaslighting
Bullying 
Blaming others
Deflecting 
Arguing

Their moms think they magically stopped. But no, it moved from behind closed doors in her family house to behind closed doors in his wife & kids house.

Don’t EVER think he magically matured and stopped his rages Ma. Or got mature. He did not. Your DIL is suffering greatly. [/quote]

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