Reply to Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents

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Reply to "Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Often people like this are mentally ill AND they have dysfunctional, overprotective parents.  Their parents watch them struggle so much growing up or in young adulthood and they don’t know what to do or how to help, and they usually end up enabling or making the child feel even more helpless.  I’ve seen this dynamic in my own family and it is frustrating and a little heartbreaking. 💔

Just be the bigger person Op and try to have some compassion.[/quote]

Nope. The family knows how to get help. This is not the 1920s. They actively chose not to get help and keep it a big secret. It is one thing for the parents to explain to OP that her brother has struggled since childhood and has tried therapies and meds and is considered a very complex case and then OP can figure out how to share with kids so they are compassionate. It's another thing to NOT get your child help all these years or to do it in secret and gaslight the family and insist all is normal and there is nothing going on and dump the brother on OP without any explanation that there is a serious mental health issue. There is SHAME in having a struggling child and not getting help for that child and thinking you can dump the problem on your other children. OPs parents can even set up boundaries now with the brother and they can get their own therapy for ideas on how to have boundaries and what to say to other adult children about the situation.[/quote]

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