Reply to I do not know how to handle adult son’s dramatic change

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They are going to go through a big change when he graduates in spring. Is he looking for jobs, planning his career / what happens when he graduates? Planning to move back home or move in with her?

I would worry but make sure you keep the dialogue open. Be happy whenever he does spend time with you & get the message across that you are always here for him - do not set up a dynamic of “it’s her or me”, as he will obviously cut you off (just when he may need your support the most). [/quote]

He plans to move back home for a year or two to save money. I keep the dialogue open and express my unconditional love for everything he does. I am always happy to see him, even if it means spending just an hour or two with me during a week-long visit. That is better than not seeing him at all. I also ensure that all my kids understand that, even when I do not agree with their decisions, I will always have their back.[/quote]

Is this “move back home” thing you have for your kids cultural? [/quote]

Why do you ask? Have you not read about the new trend of young adults moving back home to save money for their starter home?[/quote]

No. 20s are for taking the best and hardest job you can earn, and learning as much as possible, then leveraging that into the next job or city. More choices is always good.

And many save their bonuses while living with roommates and can pay for grad school or a home once they earn their terminal degree, are married or know what area they want to be in for 5-7 years. [/quote]

NP For Christ's sake. That position is in now way universal. Of course some people move home to save money. Some do as you suggest. There is no abnormality in either of these things. [/quote]

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