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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am one year in and clearly have a way to go. He chose to leave our 20 year relationship, so we are separated.

So many of these posts spoke to me. The initial six months in particular were brutal, I could feel actual physical pain in my chest. One year later, I can feel things improving. There is still not a day that goes by when I don't think about it several times a day. OP, I felt something similar to what you said about being shot - he ran me over with a truck. But the pendulum is slowly swinging from feeling I had failed to realizing that he has. He has chosen to move on with life, which includes leaving our children who are in elementary and middle school. So through this, I have tried to hold on to my job, keep the ship stable for my kids, and just keep my head above water. I did, and so will you. Anti-anxiety meds have been helpful. I send you and all other PPs love and solidarity.

To PPs who have made dismissive comments, I am confused by your objective here - other than piling on upon people, mostly women, who are sharing about a traumatic turning point in their lives. This is not just about sex. This is about intentional manipulation of your mind, lying, gaslighting over a LONG time. You know something is off, you try to ask or address, and you are given this fake narrative of your own life. I also knotted myself into pretzels like one PP trying to make things "right." All along one party has very different knowledge and keeps it from you.

Counting down to the 3-5 years. OP, don't allow yourself to just be taken along, of course try to make it work if he is making amends, just put yourself first this time. [/quote]

I am 4 months in, after 24 years together. And I want to try to work on our marriage (we are in couples therapy)but he is tired of my tears and anger and although he’s sorry for the EA he won’t say he will do anything to make the marriage work. He says our marriage was terrible before. I suspect he’ll leave soon. That is like being stabbed again. First a year long EA, lying and deceiving me over and over again (while I was begging him to work on our marriage because he was being so awful to me), then he says he can’t  take  any more of my anger and pain, and now he’s dancing around what I already know he’s going to do. So I get betrayed and then dumped.

I can’t stop shaking, no sleep, down 4 dress sizes in 4 months. Life sucks.[/quote]

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