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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Men vary as caregivers. Most are innatentive, incompetent, not paying close enough attention, flouting the rules, etc. they do the bare minimum. They don't have patience. They yell  they don't care about routine, baths, and illnesses like pink eye or rash. Yet during divorce they don't want to pay child support and sthink without their wife around they'll manage fine with 50/50. What a crappy situation for the kids and the poor mothers having to worry [/quote]A newly divorced dad at our elementary school sent his 6 yo to school in tights and a t shirt, with no pants or skirt.  You could see her underwear.  They had to send her to the office to get something from lost and found.  Apparently he didn't know the difference between tights and leggings.  :roll: [/quote]

I can believe it! While my ex and I have a good co-parenting relationship, he remains a ding dong. I'm the one who gets the emails about dress code violations when he puts our child in non uniform items to go to the school they've been going to for three years. And I have to remind him about things like brushing their hair. It could be worse, but it is a difference.[/quote]

If those are your worst complaints it sounds like he’s doing a good job.  [/quote]

They aren't my worst complaints...but in general he does ok. I do remind about things like brushing hair and giving allergy meds. Even when you have 50/50 time, you're still their mother/father 100% of the time![/quote]

You sound incredibly petty.  [/quote]

I’m a DP but you, PP, sound like you don’t know much about raising school-age children.

Kid comes to school without uniform and gets violations because their dad can’t dress them? Has a “discipline problem” at school. Depending on the discipline structure at school that means various consequences like missing pizza parties or other privileges. You really think a kid whose parents are splitting needs a harder life?

Kid comes to school without allergy medicine and either spends the day miserable or the nurse calls a parent (probably not dad) to disrupt their day and bring the meds. You think that’s better for learning?

Kid shows up without even brushed hair? Best case the other kids are awful to her— and again you feel like that’s something a kid with divorced parents needs?— worst case the teachers are all gossiping about how X Family is neglectful.

They’ve studied this pretty rigorously that well groomed children get more attention in school. Your kid doesn’t even have their hair brushed? As an elementary school teacher said to me once— teachers don’t think it’s their job to care more than the parents. [/quote]

Really, if those are the worst offenses, it's ok.  No one is early as perfect as you.  Pizza parties are not important.  Leave extra clothing at school.  And, medicine.  Leave a brush and ask the teacher to help.  Or meet them before school and do it.[/quote]

Tell a seven year old whose dad couldn’t be bothered to get them in the right uniform, who is the only kid excluded from the party, that it’s not important. I’m sure they’ll agree that it’s insignificant.

Medicine as someone else already posted is often designed to be given not at school.

“A brush and ask the teacher to help” is a really neat way to show disrespect for your kids teacher— they should be your kids nursemaid so the child’s parent doesn’t have to remember little things like grooming. School will hate you.

And you’d actually know all those things if you were a decent parent to a school age kid and so, I’m sorry for your kids or sorry for your wife.[/quote]

Seven year olds should be able to put on a uniform by themselves in the morning.[/quote]

And comb their hair if taught.  It may not be perfect but they are not helpless.  [/quote]

Let me guess. You think it’s mom’s job to teach them.[/quote]

In our home it is.  Dad has no clue how to do long hair.  You are being incredibly petty.[/quote]

Dad doesn’t have the internet?

My daughters hair has different texture than mine or my husbands. My husband and I invested 15 minutes on YouTube and I have a style we can do daily, within seven minutes, which stays in all day and looks very presentable. She will not be able to do it on herself before she’s ten or so.

The excuses you make for men are horrible. What expectations *do* you think it’s reasonable to have of a male parent? Just sperm?[/quote]

You make a lot of assumptions.  Some parents - men or women can do hair better than others.  [/quote]

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