Reply to Sad about no longer being attracted to DW

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why wouldn't you say something?

Loving couples tell each other these things. Don't fall for the DCUM saboteurs who tell you to always keep criticism to yourself. When it's constructive, and impacts your relationship with your wife, you HAVE to say something.

Also the body-positivity movement is deleterious to our health as a population. No, excess fat is NOT healthy. This is why we have a diabetes epidemic in our country. Overweight and obese people are eating their way to strokes, heart attacks, dementia and diabetes. Their loved ones will suffer the economic fallout (because the US has decided that healthcare should be exorbitant) and the caregiving burden. It's NOT good for them to be told nothing, or be told: "way to go, you're beautiful at any weight!".

So please say something. 
[/quote]

My husband said something to me after I had kids. I am grateful to him for being honest with me. He also supported me by paying for a trainer 3x a week, a gym membership, and watching kids on Saturday mornings so I exercise. I'm a SAHM. I went back to work for a short time, and I did not have the energy to work out anymore during this time, so if your wife has a really stressful job she may be too depleted to exercise. In your situation, I think you should tell your wife the truth but also say that you want to be healthier too. Do something about the food you eat and what you have in the house. Try a plant-based whole foods diet with turkey, chicken, and fish, low in sugar and fat. Suggest doing really active things in your free time together.

You say you both get plenty of exercise, but I don't think that can be the case. How much exercise and what are you doing?

Being a good partner means telling the other person the truth even when it's painful, but being supportive.
[/quote]

My husband comments on my diet, but it's not because of my weight or how attractive I am. It's because I have some health issues and my husband adores me and doesn't want me to die young. If there isn't sincere care about health and the partner's wellbeing--if the comments are primarily concerned with OP's own sexual/visual satisfaction--then comments will likely do more harm than good. Honestly it doesn't sound like OP likes his own wife so I doubt comments about her diet or appearance would land well. [/quote]

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