Reply to Disagreement regarding telling our kids we are divorcing

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mom decided she no longer wanted to be married so we are getting a divorce.[/quote]

Nope.

You can complain and alienate during your custody time the rest of your life.

For now, just keep it simple that things did not work out. Nothing to do with the kids.

Get them a therapist too. [/quote]

Mom cheats and you think dad should get blamed?   [/quote]

I think there's more to it than he's admitting. It's a bit unusual to be the woman who cheats AND be the one to file for divorce. The cheater usually feels they've made a mistake and wants to work it out with the spouse and for the children. I get the feeling he may have done something in the past and she couldn't get over it. [/quote]

When the woman cheats usually t[i]he husband[/i] files for divorce---[u]unless[/u] she has a cheatee who actually agreed to marry her (or she believes that he will)--then she files.  A lot of time she finds out he won't commit too late.[/quote]
This is irrelevant. The question is do you traumatize your children and weaponize them, or do you prioritize their well being? Do you fixate on your anger and betrayal or do you work through that on your own and do everything to support a loving relationship with both parents? Because that’s best for the children.

Also, one of these kids is 10. I know a lot of 10 year olds who have a sense of how reproduction works, but don’t know the mechanics of sex.

OP didn’t mention any kind of abuse.  Cheating happens for many reasons and it’s always a betrayal. But it doesn’t on its own make the other parent a monster. Punishing the other parent of your children is a no-win situation.[/quote]

You are correct in one aspect:  her betrayal.  When she cheated, she cheated on her poor kids too.  The decision to traumatize her family was hers alone.

Maybe through couples therapy, OP could have forgiven her.

But she is choosing to, yet again, traumatize her kids.  Her choice, not his.

OP:  she’s continually serving you a sh!+ sandwich.  Zero reason for you to eat it.

The children have the right to know who destroyed their childhood by choice.[/quote]

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