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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][/quote]
This is total nonsense.  Marriage is way too complex to boil down to “bad choices equals bad outcomes.” [/quote]

Unfortunately, it is. People change and grow but their nature and core values remains the same.

If your spouse is mean, gas lighting, drinking, lying, cheating, irresponsible, abusive etc  ... you just didn't see it because you were in love, wanted to get settled, blinded by their looks or money or thinking you are the same because you've same religion, race, education, social class etc.

Also you thought you'll be a good partner even though you knew at your core you are self cantered, materialistic, mean and moody.

[/quote]

This is really a matter of perspective.  I think if someone changes for the worse, they actually changed and that’s on them.  It’s totally up to subjective interpretation what a “warning sign” is as nobody is on their best behavior all the time.

I think this gets into a really philosophical discussion actually about a person’s “true” nature.

It’s easy to imagine that a person can show “signs” and change for the worse but how about the better?  I am much more mellow and accepting than when I got married.  My husband is a lot more responsible in the home than he was when we got married… when I got married he was living with his parents and did very, very little other than his job and socializing.  He’s been a super responsible parent and partner but he gave me no “signs” that I consciously picked up.[/quote]

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